An epic, old dream.

Lately, I can't remember any of my dreams. It's really disheartening. I usually have these long, epic dreams that shows a great world full of imagination with a storyline. The dreams also tells me a little bit something about myself, like my fears and my desires. So here's an old dream from my xanga I use to keep up with.


December 12, 2012.  The day seems to go normally, but you can feel the world was off. For some reason I felt like I was a higher being, that I was taller than before, or maybe that the world was just shrinking. Every step I took felt like I was in a perspective drawing and I was looking down at a towering angle, but I had this feeling inside me like I was floating. Today is one of those days my mom visits me once a week. It takes her more than an hour to visit me, but she still insists on going to the places I want to go. It's always the same with her.

The roads were going a bit faster than usual, but you wouldn’t call it a panic. It could’ve been called another busy day on the highway. As my mom drives along, we hear a thump under the car. I’m worried it might have been a dog, but my mom dismisses it. Somehow, I think she knows by the end of this day, it all won’t matter anymore.

We’re making a trip back and I see a dead body on the road, I’m scared, not because someone’s dead, but that my mom could be in trouble. It could’ve been possible that she hit that person with her car.  I’m trying to warn her that she could get in trouble, but she dismisses me once again. It’s slowly eating me inside, but I follow her lead and try to forget about it.

The sky is gray and cloudy, the kind of look it gets right before a storm. It wasn’t depressing or anything, but it added to the sense that I was floating as I moved. As we're driving along the highway, I can feel the world starting to lose its balance. For some reason, I think of piano music, that someone is playing in the middle of a moving highway. It would’ve been beautiful and chaotic, the perfect way to describe the world as it’s going now.

On top of the highway, I spot the sea and asked my mom if we could go there. We eventually arrived at a boardwalk and I see boats floating up and down besides it. From my view, it looked like the boardwalk was the world and I was standing at the end of it. The gloomy sky with the mix of constant waves of the boats made everything alluring, I think of the pianist playing in the highway.

At the end of the boardwalk, a large ship was docked; it looked like it was waiting just for us. Inside the boat a small mass of people huddled in a group. The leader warns his crew that this journey will be a hard and perilous one, that some of them might not even make it, that they’ll be traveling thousands, hundreds of miles to a better place.

He tells them that this is his last call; those who are unsure should leave now. And for some reason, at that moment, I begin to lose all my sense of caring. I forget about my other family, my friends, and my home. I was beginning to feel the end of the world was actually coming and maybe that I was just losing hope. I held out my hand and asked my mom, “Would you like to go a cruise?”

The world could be ending right now, but I was at peace. My mother and I held each other’s hand and walked down that boardwalk into the boat. The crew did care nor welcome us, it seems like walk-ins were normal. The waves were getting stronger and the boat ride was getting bumpy, it seemed like our journey was just only beginning. My eyelids were starting to get heavier, I wondered if it was because the boat was rocking me to sleep. I tried to keep my eyes open and stay awake, but I was slowly losing this battle. I decided to close my eyes just for a moment.

I woke up needing to pee. I looked around and remembered that I had gotten on the boat. There is only one person around, a boy; he is wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. Our boat is docked next to a deep jungle and the boy was standing guard duty. The others must have gone on land to look for food. It looked like we were in the middle of the Amazons, just how long was I asleep?

Outside the boat, I see another crew of travelers traveling by a smaller group of boats. Their boats were made out of wood, but it looked sturdy enough to carry them this far. I noticed behind some of the boats had another attachment, a box-like boat that was covered at the top. The boy tells me that those are coffins and that they are carrying their dead with them.

Another crew appears behind the first; they were far more loud and rambunctious than the other and they were speeding up into the river. The boy quickly brings out a bucket of dog kibbles and throws them out in the river by hand. I questioned what he was doing and told him to be more careful with our food. He told me that he needed to feed the alligators or else the second crew would walk into a death trap.

I watched with conflicted emotions. Just who was this kid and how could he possibly think he was saving anyone? The loud crew was passing along us until an alligator had popped out of the water and grabbed one of their crewmen. We watched the struggle, but he was eventually pulled down into the water. The crew panicked at first, but ultimately decided to move along since there nothing else they could do.

I looked over to the boy and saw his crushed face. 

I knew that he just only wanted to make a difference.